On the evening of September 10th, 2001, I was one of the lucky ones at Madison Square Garden Watching the greatest, Michael Jackson Perform... What an AMAZING memory, sharing that moment with a friend who came into NYC for his Birthday, some co workers from Def Jam at the time, and thousands of MJ fans and friends. We were celebrating MJ's Comeback, Missing our Aaliyah, Anticipating Jay Z's BLUEPRINT Album to drop & rejoicing my friends Birthday (Which is Sep. 11). After the concert, we celebrated all night. We all did shots and shots and shots of Jose Quervo Tequila lol, I think we bought the hotel bar out that night.... Man, I was 23 years old, just so young and carefree, not much concern for whatever stresses I had earlier that week or too much responsibility in the world, having fun and living life to the fullest. I don't even remember falling asleep that night..... but I do remember how I woke up from it. Life changed that fast, literally in a blink of an eye. I woke up at The Trump Hotel to a friend banging on the door at 8 am & then rushed in the room, turned the TV on and LIVE footage of the second Tower being hit! We thought he turned on the movie "Independence Day"!!! The minute the plane hit the second tower, we felt rumbling. We were so close to it, just down the street almost! It took us about 10 minutes to wake up from our crazy drunken stooper and realize that there was real tragedy happening just down the street from us. Reality hit! Moments later we saw smoke and rubbles of debris from our room window floating through the sky and empty streets...
All of our phone signals were jammed. We couldn't call out or get calls in! This was the era of Two Way pagers and for some reason we were able to receive and send email. I didn't know anyone down there, what is now "GROUND ZERO", or so I thought. My sister had just transferred locations from her job. She had worked at MET LIFE and had just transferred to the Pennsylvania Location. So I wasn't worried at all, at least not for my sisters life or safety. Then all of a sudden I received an email from my dad who was in Japan at the time, that my older sister was in NYC and he was trying to get in touch with her but could not! I reassured my dad, she had changed locations and sure she was fine. This I was so sure of and assumed he hadn't been updated. As soon as I sent my father that reply, News cut to a plane crashing in Pennsylvania then in Washington DC. IMMEDIATELY my heart dropped in fear for My sister and My little brother who was in DC at the time. And then for all of my family and friends in DC and who I knew worked at the Pentagon. Next to NJ/NY, DC...That's home to me!
My dad immediately responded that my sister was doing job training for her job that week in The Trade Center. My heart stopped almost completely. I tried to get in touch w/ my brother-in-law but all phones were still jammed up for several hours! My friend comforted me (poor guy didn't know what to say or do) as I wanted to attempt to go down there to find her, but so much fear, smoke, chaos, fear, debris, did I say fear? It came over us all! For 6 hours I cried and cried hoping my sister was ok!
My world had stopped! My eyes are watering now remembering that moment, that fear! The world (at least NYC) Stopped that day! It was now 5pm and we hadn't eaten at all! The Hotel ran out of food for the day, understandably workers hadn't come into work, none of the stores in our area were open! We walked outside for a while looking for a 7-11 or something and it was literally DEATH all around us... soooo scary! Soooo sad! Sooo confusing! NYC looked sooo different. We felt like we were in the Twilight Zone. We all just stayed in the hotel for rest of that day and the next trying to figure life out! What happened? Why? Should we be worried it would happen again and when? Where? Who? What should we do, where do we go? How can we help? How do we get out of NYC? I lived in Brooklyn at the time and my friend was trying to get back to where he lived.. OF COURSE NO FLIGHTS anywhere!!! We were in limbo! All day, All Night we just stared at the TV, The walls and each other, still not able to talk to anyone other than the people around us! Still no word on my sister.
But then, I finally got an email from my dad the following day, My sister was alive and ok, traumatized but ok and finally home in Central Jersey.
When phone lines finally opened up a little, Hearing her voice made everything so much better; But hearing her story made me cry all over again! Hearing that my NEW crazy EX-MARINE Irish Brother In Law went down to the Recruiters office to re-enlist, made my sister have a nervous break down! Was he crazy? Does this mean we were going to war? If so was he, my dad, my brother or my cousins going to have to enlist and re-enlist also? Now that women were in battle, were they going to recruit me because I did Military ROTC for 2 years?
Two days later, my friend was able to get a train to vist his Grandma in upstate NY and I had to walk all the way back to Brooklyn! I walked over the Brooklyn Bridge and everything. Took me 3 hrs. I finally was able to get on a NJTransit two days later and went to see my sister! I hugged her so much and so tight! Definitely NEVER wanted to let go!
I luckily didn't lose my sister that day, or any loved ones, and I thank God 4 them everyday and every year. Every time I see Michael Jackson footage from the concert on TV or YouTube, I think of that night and the day that proceeded. I couldn't bare the tragedy of just losing Aaliyah weeks before let alone to all of what we lost that morning of 9/11, not just the monumental skyline Twin Towers that everyone so miss, but all of the people, the families, the spirits and love NYC embodied and embraced.... I LOVE NY, A Billion others, T-shirts, bumper stickers, buttons and songs say so!!!! But could we all still feel that way at that moment?
NYC has never been the same, THE USA has never been the same! Lives have changed DRAMATICALLY! Not a day passes that I travel and endure the evilness and harassment of the TCA at airports that I don't selfishly get angry at them, then the terrorists. I took my 5 year old niece and boyfriend to visit the Statue of Liberty for their first time ever, to experience what I experienced every year for 10 years as a child on our school trips. Getting to go inside and go to the top of her crown. But to our disappointment they no longer allow the full excursion. We also cant visit the white house the way we used to! We cant take pictures or video footage of certain buildings or events because we might be plotting?? We cant take our own beverages onto a flight but we can buy the $20 bottle of water once we pass security! I have to throw my toothpaste or perfume away because I forgot to pack it and it 1 FL OZ over the allowed 3.4 FL OZ????? I cant wear flip flops through the security OMG.... I cant do ANYTHING ANYMORE!!!!! How ARE WE PROTECTED BY A DEMOCRACY when we live by the Terrorists subliminal DICTATORSHIP????
And then I bring myself down to earth and remember, its bigger than just me! DENYCE... ARE YOU SERIOUS??? People lost children, Mommy's, daddy's, and friends that morning! FOREVER! You almost lost your sister. But then I still wonder, For what? And We still fear that day every time we fly, every time a HUGE event or national gathering comes up, every time 9/11 comes around! Every time there's a SONIC BOOM! SOMEONE took LIFE from us all in so many ways that day and they KNOW IT!!!!!!
Am I still ANGRY? YES! DO I still CRY? YES! AM I SCARED 2 DEATH of FLYING NOW??? HELL YEAH!! IS IT FAIR for any one of us? NO!!!
This is just how I feel!
God, I ask you to comfort those who lost so much that morning, and those who continue to feel their loss and mourn. I ask you to instill some kind of peace within them and some feelings of care in those who don't feel a thing when they think of 9/11.
